Playful practical jokes can enlighten our lives and offset some of the negatives that are thrown at us way too often. Hurtful practical jokes have no place in our lives. But, the playful ones can bring a grin, chuckle, smile or a hearty belly-laugh. Hopefully, the playful joke described below prompts some kind of humorous effect.
The scene of the practical joke is the Dew Drop In Country Bar & Grill in the heart of rural America. It serves as a social gathering place where long-time rural folks interact with newly-arrived folks from urban areas seeking the rural good life.
A small clique of young local cowboys and farmers and their wives concocted this playful practical joke. On occasions they would gather in the Dew Drop after dark and position themselves in several booths on either side of the aisle leading from the entry door to the bar.
Then someone would produce a $5. Someone else would produce a spool of black sewing thread and a needle. Then the thread wuz carefully attached to an end of the five-spot.
Then, the $5 bill would be strategically placed on the floor not far from the entry door and the black thread strung out camouflaged along the edge of the booths and some enterprising joker would keep one hand on the thread and one eye on the door. The “trap” wuz set to spring.
Soon, an unsuspecting and gullible “newbie mark”would enter the bar and spy the five-spot laying unattended on the floor. Most of the marks would do the obvious. They would quickly bend down to capture the largess that had luckily fallen their way.
But, as they bent over and prepared to pick up the five-spot, the bill would jump away from their grasping fingers by a few inches because the joker holding the black thread would give it a little jerk like the wind had moved it. Many times the mark would re-adjust and grab again, and yet again — with the same effect.
Soon, the mark understood the joke and realized he’d been hoodwinked. When he stood up, embarrassed, that’s when the laughter at his expense came. Most were good-natured about the joke and laughed themselves.
And, sometimes the mark would react differently when he spied the five-spot on the floor. This kind of mark would casually step on the bill, then scratch his chin and nonchalantly bend down like he wuz going to scratch his leg.
But, when he lifted his shoe from the five-spot to pick it, it once again flitted out of his reach. And, that’s when he became the embarrassed recipient of a round of good-natured laughter.
No one ever got hurt with this practical joke and it did serve in a small way to build camaraderie amongst the rural-urban folks in the small rural community.
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While I’m on the subject of practical jokes, I admit to pulling a few and being the recipient of few. I once got pranked by my friend Albie Kirkie who wrote me a nasty letter from the federal tax folks questioning my legitimate tax deductions for my kennel of Brittany bird dogs. I bit on it hook, line and sinker.
Then once Albie and I teamed up on a friend who wuz on vacation the week after Christmas. We put an ad in the local paper that this friend wanted “used” Christmas trees delivered to his home. When he arrived after vacation, he had a literal “lot full” of tinsel-laden trees to dispose of.
Once I posed as a radio personality giving away free cans of Campbell soup to folks who could sing the Campbell soup advertising song. The wife of a good friend lustily sang the ad song to me and requested her gift soup to be Campbell chicken noodle. Needless to say, she’s received several gift cans of chicken noodle soup from me over several decades.
My sheep-shearing buddy from Iowa, ol’ Nick deHyde, and I exchanged practical jokes many times during the years we were Iowa neighbors. He hated birthday celebrations, so I had the local radio station announce his birthday on an early-morning show. Another time, I hung birthday banners on the front of his sheep barn. Still another time, after I moved back on Kansas, I had a bunch of my friends, unknown to Nick, call him on his cell phone and wish him a happy birthday.
Nick practical joked me in return. One time he dressed up a dead ewe in freezing weather and propped her up in my small barn where she “stood” for several freezing weeks.
Another time, he dressed up a live ewe and presented her to me as a potential “friend.” And, still another time, he tied up my black Tennessee walking horse to the bumper of my truck in my garage. That liked to scared me to death, and the horse, too, when I opened my garage door.
But, like I said in the beginning of this column, no one got hurt in these practical jokes. Everyone got some immediate good laughs. And in the end, we all got fond memories and I got some column material.
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I recently saw a cartoon that showed a farmer at the entry to the pearly gates. St. Peter was telling him, “You would have made it except for your language when working on your truck.”
I emailed that message to Nick deHyde, and he replied to me, “My sheep shearing mentor once told me, ‘If you’re gonna shear sheep, they’re gonna make you mad, and then you’ve got two choices — beat ’em or cuss ’em. You’ll get more repeat bizness if you just cuss ’em.’”
Those words will serve as the wise ones for this week. Have a good ‘un.
